it could have been my funeral...

my jeep liberty from my December 28, 2007 accident
Last night I went to a woman's funeral...
someone I did not know...
but someone whom I could have known,
if I had left my friend's house an hour earlier that Saturday night before...

After a few too many glasses of wine, my friend said...
let me drive your car back to my house...
and you can crash there for awhile...
until you sleep it off.

After a few hours on the couch...
I awoke, and wanted to be in my own bed...
I couldn't find my keys, had to wake up my friends to ask them...

By 3:30AM or so, I was heading home.

It could have been me crossing paths with my neighbor, Lorrie,
driving too fast and with perhaps a few too many,
at 2:25AM.

It could have been me...
who was driving too fast with perhaps a few too many,
instead of her...
at 2:25AM.

I am very sorry for all those who feel this pain and loss
from what I hear...
Lorrie was a wonderful woman...
had high passion for life...
sought spiritual answers...
and loved her three children very much.

Last night, a full moon,
so full and so big and so orange,
lite the town of Dingmans Ferry, PA...
and the church was filled with standing room only.

We waiting together
for all the mourners to enter the church
and then for the preacher to begin.

The words said and the love in the room
filled me until tears poured out of my eyes.
I did not know her...
but I felt her.

But that was not it...
it was also my connection,
the fact I was only minutes away
from the very spot she crashed that night,
I was there an hour later,
and could have been there at the same moment as her...

If not for the love of my friend
making me rest and sleep it off...
last night could have been MY funeral.

As I went to work this morning,
thinking about my life,
my mistakes, my gambles,
the risks I have taken...
consciously and sometimes...
unconsciously...

I feel grateful...
one more day in my life...
cause she could have been me.
or I could have crashed into her.

And while I was driving to work this morning,
I listened to this song from the Dixie Chicks...
and it spoke a truth I recognized...
but in stead of "Everybody Knows",
I was singing:
"Nobody Knows"...

...interesting, huh?

fickle finger of fate


Everybody Knows:

Tell me now if you came sneaking up behind
Would you know me and see behind the smile
I can change like colors on a wall
Hoping no one else will find what lies beneath it all
I think I hide it all so well

Stepping out, everyone can see my face
All the things I can't erase from my life

Everybody knows
Standing out so you won't forget my name

That's the way we play this game of life
Everybody knows

Looking through the crowd
I search for something else
But every time I turn around
I run into myself

Here I stand
Consumed with my surroundings
Just another day
Of everybody looking
I swore they'd never see me cry
You'll never see me cry

Stepping out, everyone can see my face
All the things I can't erase from my life
Everybody knows

Standing out so you won't forget my name
That's the way we play this game of life
Everybody knows

You say I'll pay the price
That's the chance that I'll take
Though you may think I'm telling lies
But I just call it getting by

Stepping out, everyone can see my face
All the things I can't erase from my life
Everybody knows

Standing out so you won't forget my name
That's the way we play this game of life

Everybody knows
I am just barely getting by